its okay to be jealous

This blog is triggered from a persistent thought. of wanting something or having a desire to be in somebody's shoes. let me explain. 

Often the emotion 'jealousy' has so much negativity attached to it, that this word is not part of our daily vocabulary.                                       

Ever heard unapologetic laughter and thought that you want to be part of that group. what's the joke they are sharing, is it a memory, are they discussing somebody else. This is the laughter that one of my most awesome friend shares with her mom. they are friends first and then defined by blood. It’s not the joke, nor a gossip piece, or a memory.... it's actually nothing sometimes. My analytical mind has to come up with some rationale, so I feel that the actual reason is that they complete each other. they don't need any one to have a party. they are not looking at anyone else to bring humor to the table, if others join along, then it's just a bonus. I would love to have that with my mom or strive to have that openness with my kids....well the point of documenting this thought, is that sometimes you observe things that make you long it...and its okay to be jealous for a moment. 

Many of us have a friend who is too religious and way different from you in matters of God. I have a friend who in matters of God practices complete surrender. That surrender gives her a lot of strength. She doesn't use her faith to discriminate or preach, its personal. I have often questioned myself if I can ever demonstrate complete surrender. imagine, a time where your internal and the external thought process is aligned, and you are completely sold to the process and not the outcome. I think even for meditation, exercising, surrender is important...I have often admired this trait, and lets just say it... been a bit jealous. 

Do you know anyone on insta who is just doing their thing. They are not asking for your permission or the world's validation to share their POV. They may not be 'good looking' enough to post a OOTD, or smart enough to do AMA.... but hell ... who cares....and here many of us are so inhibited to share our thoughts, make a post or basically put oneself out there.... we are not debating the latter half, when too much of it is not a good thing, but basically the idea to be uninhibited.... irrespective of age, color, height/weight, IQ... as long you are not offensive, everything else is content that you can wish to consume, or to let it slide...I admire this ability to be uninhibited sometimes. 

There are many other thoughts that come to my mind... but this blog will become too long. may be I will comeback and add to this later.