tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50986488986367942982024-03-14T04:07:29.096-04:00Blog = Pseudo Intellectual chauvinismShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-52732740663136821312023-07-11T02:43:00.008-04:002023-07-11T16:34:41.300-04:00its okay to be jealous<h2 style="text-align: left;">This blog is triggered from a persistent thought. of wanting something or having a desire to be in somebody's shoes. let me explain. </h2><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEirFNhXTKhde7Da5YV5zM7HChpukhWl5mgWXTaUwv5_bI_x5qf0dXmJwiue5CL-JgBk8KjfWdysF0Rvt4nNOVZfVzm8ksLl5NM5APICFtNhPg2LpIZD7pZux5QQlneIw4qMUaawxFKbVXJA5D3U58MDneCY690SBEaGYAXHp86qHA_6XiUK8AMp99navcb8" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"></a></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjcTB0xiabCYna5za9jgf1DDMGfE0WPfxIu_xl5xkTBM4s0eS8AdhYcGM2vvE9hIqt-O66jJJ31dx3j3Jx7H1-Ptx4GORHqerQ1JygJyRxNO-kbqTvqU61D4T5zY3Q07iaiKpY-YaxUmwk8NdZoj6xN4iNIoG32YyX85tlokrhNrB9wr-7hkeDMTWhlACIh" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="400" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjcTB0xiabCYna5za9jgf1DDMGfE0WPfxIu_xl5xkTBM4s0eS8AdhYcGM2vvE9hIqt-O66jJJ31dx3j3Jx7H1-Ptx4GORHqerQ1JygJyRxNO-kbqTvqU61D4T5zY3Q07iaiKpY-YaxUmwk8NdZoj6xN4iNIoG32YyX85tlokrhNrB9wr-7hkeDMTWhlACIh" width="240" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><div style="text-align: left;">Often the emotion 'jealousy' has so much negativity attached to it, that this word is not part of our daily vocabulary. <span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ever heard unapologetic laughter and thought that you want to be part of that group. what's the joke they are sharing, is it a memory, are they discussing somebody else. This is the laughter that one of my most awesome friend shares with her mom. they are friends first and then defined by blood. It’s not the joke, nor a gossip piece, or a memory.... it's actually nothing sometimes. My analytical mind has to come up with some rationale, so I feel that the actual reason is that they complete each other. they don't need any one to have a party. they are not looking at anyone else to bring humor to the table, if others join along, then it's just a bonus. I would love to have that with my mom or strive to have that openness with my kids....well the point of documenting this thought, is that sometimes you observe things that make you long it...and its okay to be jealous for a moment. </div><p>Many of us have a friend who is too religious and way different from you in matters of God. I have a friend who in matters of God practices complete surrender. That surrender gives her a lot of strength. She doesn't use her faith to discriminate or preach, its personal. I have often questioned myself if I can ever demonstrate complete surrender. imagine, a time where your internal and the external thought process is aligned, and you are completely sold to the process and not the outcome. I think even for meditation, exercising, surrender is important...I have often admired this trait, and lets just say it... been a bit jealous. </p><p>Do you know anyone on insta who is just doing their thing. They are not asking for your permission or the world's validation to share their POV. They may not be 'good looking' enough to post a OOTD, or smart enough to do AMA.... but hell ... who cares....and here many of us are so inhibited to share our thoughts, make a post or basically put oneself out there.... we are not debating the latter half, when too much of it is not a good thing, but basically the idea to be uninhibited.... irrespective of age, color, height/weight, IQ... as long you are not offensive, everything else is content that you can wish to consume, or to let it slide...I admire this ability to be uninhibited sometimes. </p><p>There are many other thoughts that come to my mind... but this blog will become too long. may be I will comeback and add to this later. </p>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-33819948861921157442023-04-13T19:31:00.007-04:002023-04-13T19:51:23.111-04:00Dont Judge me... Just be my friend......<p> "I want to sit with friends who dont judge and I just want to have a good time" .... this is what one friend told me.</p><p>I got it....'You be you' .. 'I be me'... we find a common ground to connect, converse and respect each other. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEsRHthsz_9g-mBLC9FlthlNVAWO6g2QIY3YV8oPfb0Cz_vTDuhR9zUCkk_T0kL0y5fZ5TNy_lmrQXL8IBp-25ZJ3B3RmVNINpBm_EBaV_BhMZsWFwY-H7zGMeHmgfu6YYeDRxvYE-uw_tvUHvye71J1BAxEvbTIKgRgUoU-f0Aw7ZoRcYTfq-YMAaTA/s940/DONT-JUDGE-ME-JUST-BE-MY-FRIEND.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" height="337" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEsRHthsz_9g-mBLC9FlthlNVAWO6g2QIY3YV8oPfb0Cz_vTDuhR9zUCkk_T0kL0y5fZ5TNy_lmrQXL8IBp-25ZJ3B3RmVNINpBm_EBaV_BhMZsWFwY-H7zGMeHmgfu6YYeDRxvYE-uw_tvUHvye71J1BAxEvbTIKgRgUoU-f0Aw7ZoRcYTfq-YMAaTA/w495-h337/DONT-JUDGE-ME-JUST-BE-MY-FRIEND.png" width="495" /></a></div><br /><br />Including my years studying, it will be 20 years in the USA this fall. 13 of the 20 were spent in one city. My formative years of making a family, making friends, increasing my friend circle to finally decreasing my friend circle. Last 5 years, i stuck with 4 other families....didn't find the need <p></p><p>However we changed cities..we didn't know a soul in the new place...I struggled a bit ....I felt as I did in my first year in the USA. slowly we met people...I realized that I enjoyed speaking with people who were so varied from me...I was not trying to find my tribe</p><p>I focused on identifying why I like to meet the people that I meet. There may be many qualities but atleast whats the one quality that I love about them. I was clear that I wont make friends to increase count and once I return after spending time with anybody, I should feel energized. It should not feel like an ordeal. </p><p>To my friend who loves making a reel, to my friend who is an expensive hand bag collector, to my friend who is openly lazy, to my friend who is super talented but doubts her self, to my friend who is super dominating, I like you all.... Thank you for adding joy to life. </p><p>I am not classifying my friends whether they are close, far, important, or my immediate circle. I enjoy meeting them when I do. I have also realized that with this open mindset I have more friends in my new city than I did in my past life....though I will like to confess that my 4 friends from my past life have become my sisters...:)</p>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-87715686316621551682023-04-06T01:20:00.009-04:002023-04-06T01:43:11.956-04:00Where was I... down memory lane <p>I just happened to remember that I wrote a blog in my past life and managed to remember my webpage and read some of my posts. I don't relate to that girl....last post was 13-14 years back. I want that girl back....</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi3TxfsGDSvf3BEjpIiiHweWvUCcRZ-97KLLPAXywtMYdhXh-TFQeBsVHFC1shwXKHO8tDdimtexn_HEfQoqu8zpLe990vhj1Njabsi000T6whnkFWQd35hlTD_fAfKg_67-7-j5zLTgjaxYmexF4eBoiV6CUdMj2JeNlebBU1p-pirHTy60WUxkv1yUQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="172" data-original-width="292" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi3TxfsGDSvf3BEjpIiiHweWvUCcRZ-97KLLPAXywtMYdhXh-TFQeBsVHFC1shwXKHO8tDdimtexn_HEfQoqu8zpLe990vhj1Njabsi000T6whnkFWQd35hlTD_fAfKg_67-7-j5zLTgjaxYmexF4eBoiV6CUdMj2JeNlebBU1p-pirHTy60WUxkv1yUQ" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><b>what has changed............</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>2 bright kids have been added to my life :))) and bella...</li><li>Many many pounds added ...</li><li>Some baggage of relationships....</li><li>lots of memberships (netflix ...prime..sling..disney.. etc etc)</li></ul><p></p><p><b>what hasnt changed...........</b></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The need for my parents....</li><li>movies</li><li>sports..</li><li>many friends still remain today</li><li>and still talking about losing weight...</li></ul><p></p><p>cheers to that...</p><p><br /></p>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-73329888858046563832009-07-29T10:31:00.000-04:002009-07-29T10:32:07.565-04:00AN OBITUARY (Article copied from Big B's Blog)An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true.<br /><br />Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, *Common Sense*, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:<br />- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;<br />- Why the early bird gets the worm;<br />- Life isn’t always fair;<br />- and maybe it was my fault.<br /><br />Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).<br /><br />His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.<br /><br />Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.<br /><br />It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.<br /><br />Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.<br /><br />Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.<br /><br />Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.<br /><br />Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.<br /><br />He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;<br />I Know My Rights<br />I Want It Now<br />Someone Else Is To Blame<br />I’m A Victim<br /><br />Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-7054029352177255972009-02-02T09:55:00.005-05:002009-02-02T13:30:30.396-05:00Is Danny Boyle our national representative???<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBa2xPig_ZNs6O2NKQ_s8gyGSmPx3oYN3pIqUuriJsMjqY777ry-BWhwGlSC_AHZiKKdJFg-0FfkFzDEVZmrPDuPC8PiIJom6bv9HFJMW92Q44eMn4YJCLnAFZikhLeMkxAq5lU71tQDOQ/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 217px; height: 116px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBa2xPig_ZNs6O2NKQ_s8gyGSmPx3oYN3pIqUuriJsMjqY777ry-BWhwGlSC_AHZiKKdJFg-0FfkFzDEVZmrPDuPC8PiIJom6bv9HFJMW92Q44eMn4YJCLnAFZikhLeMkxAq5lU71tQDOQ/s400/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298269171555651474" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Give the man a break... ever since Slumdog Millionaire made it big in awards circles.. suddenly everybody has a opinion on the movie and they want to express it right through the media.<br /><br />I have been following debates over whether Slumdog does India any good.. is it only a gimmick....<br /><br />Does it selectively highlight India's filth and backwardness....<br /><br />Is it a foreigner's perspective on showcasing India..<br /><br />Somehow when I saw the movie.. I loved it. Probably I saw it much earlier that it caught all the hype for bagging most of the awards..<br /><br />I found it very entertaining, positive and full of great performances.<br /><br />As a social work student in India, I have visited the slums (Jhuggi Jhopri as they call in Delhi) for my field work. I am surprised as to how well the director captured the appropriate characterization of slums.. there was no exaggeration in depicting the slums.<br /><br />Isn't slums a reality in India..<br />Isnt child labor a reality in India..<br /><br />And anyways its a movie.. Its not documentary that aims to project India in its true light..<br /><br />We never make a big deal when Karan Johar makes a movie in which almost all Indians live in palaces.. wear wierd heavy clothes all the time, or for that matter that NRI's live in palaces in the states and are so loaded with money and servants .<br /><br />We see it as a movie so why not accept Slumdog as a movie.<br /><br />Agreed .. that the international recognition it has recieved has got people asking all sorts of questions.. that is India really like this, are we so bad to children.. is there nothing good in India.<br /><br />However we should like or dislike the movie "judging on the merits of the movie alone", not because suddenly that it is lapped up by the western media..<br /><br />Coming to the point of potraying India's filth.. aren't we all aware of it. It is not a lie.. Its just that we are closet critics of India....<br /><br />Its a hypocracy.. Its like saying that if an Indian makes a movie on the racial divide happening in the USA,... then the Americans will cry foul and say that the movie is a sham.. there are many good things to showcase about the US so why depict the ugly.<br /><br />When I saw the movie.. I could get beyond the way the children acted. The director has brought the best in their acting.<br /><br />I feel bad that they are not here attending any award functions.. they truly were the best.. especially little Jamal.<br /><br />I understand people's perspective that India has many strengths despite its weakness.<br /><br />That is true and there is no denying that..<br /><br />But in the end.. let our prejuicide not come in the way on how we can enjoy a well made, beautifully enacted movie..Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-52489601177727170132009-01-22T13:40:00.010-05:002009-01-22T14:29:37.090-05:00Resolutions......<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEAAgEshptaqTrkIl8mcFP7fc2o_sNKNkumxrvGBxOctYT1V-TGUGNt0O9uKZv6agvcQav1WQqQ6ilWIjd7eo4x4RCkzyq5jCLxg38qeT5QaynhyphenhyphenMCp3pmTSIeAjhqlYBB79xSvM21smBj/s1600-h/new-year-resolution.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 257px; height: 278px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEAAgEshptaqTrkIl8mcFP7fc2o_sNKNkumxrvGBxOctYT1V-TGUGNt0O9uKZv6agvcQav1WQqQ6ilWIjd7eo4x4RCkzyq5jCLxg38qeT5QaynhyphenhyphenMCp3pmTSIeAjhqlYBB79xSvM21smBj/s400/new-year-resolution.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294197235331712258" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdYp8zpyGxjTb1tYf0HYBHozcQdjPTq3KCZCKJnOArwOCkD18u0e2lAbv5A16_em9vKsLb028ND8ygdu9AF22dtQ7Gt0laiPwk4FYoqrWSJY0jiCbff7z6iR4YJBnZkIoug1qPwD1gKG3B/s1600-h/occ_new-years-resolution.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdYp8zpyGxjTb1tYf0HYBHozcQdjPTq3KCZCKJnOArwOCkD18u0e2lAbv5A16_em9vKsLb028ND8ygdu9AF22dtQ7Gt0laiPwk4FYoqrWSJY0jiCbff7z6iR4YJBnZkIoug1qPwD1gKG3B/s400/occ_new-years-resolution.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294197026830608322" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Ya ya yaa.. I know its late to write about new year resolutions now, We are almost a whole month into 2009.<br /><br />However, I just wanted to pen down my thoughts on New Year Resolutions.. I think I must have made at least a million resolutions, may be just not New Year but you know.. like from next month... from tomorrow, from next monday and the list goes now.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyTaMc39FQlS86DsAi-bJgFZt12M1OERQURAf4r-wDwCLAJ-BfgzE9lRSfVxvhjJ1lCmPztbDn2XXxTcX8IDdHDqAeaKGmW6gXmlaBVt9sAzjKeUKUlBJvgckg15JxzdfRGtQJfyhIf1O/s1600-h/ist2_2024989-new-year-s-resolutions-dieting.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 302px; height: 227px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyTaMc39FQlS86DsAi-bJgFZt12M1OERQURAf4r-wDwCLAJ-BfgzE9lRSfVxvhjJ1lCmPztbDn2XXxTcX8IDdHDqAeaKGmW6gXmlaBVt9sAzjKeUKUlBJvgckg15JxzdfRGtQJfyhIf1O/s400/ist2_2024989-new-year-s-resolutions-dieting.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294197122779858274" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And its no secret that I haven't kept any of my resolutions. Losing weight and studying harder... is I guess I always resolve to do in mind.. but I am not sure how it translates into action.<br /><br />This year was very different. I didn't feel like having any NY resolutions. I realized that we make resolutions when we are lacking something we want to achieve. We only foresee the result that we want to obtain, and we make a resolve about achieving it.<br /><br />I have always said that I would like to lose 20 pounds (okay.. may be I need more, but lets stick to 20 for now). For a day I remember it and the next day its gone. I never paid attention to the process of getting the result or keeping up with my resolution. I never prepared myself on how to stick to my plan, keep going despite failures, handle a success (like gorging on an icecream just because your weighing machine is nice to you one day).<br /><br />When I made the resolution, did I even check my motivation level.. or my readiness to change (stages of change... important theory in social work).<br /><br />It can not be a miracle that on the eve of New Year all good things will align for me and help me stick to my resolution.<br /><br />Its only a date... It does not have the power to change my lifestyle...<br /><br />So this year I was low key on making resolutions but attempting to make small changes in lifestyle.<br /><br />I also had another thought in mind that I would rather have a happy ending that a great beginning. Year 2008 ended on such a pleasant note for me that I didn't feel like wishing for a great beginning to 2009. I am sure it will be great if I work at it.<br /><br />My husband always had never believed in resolutions. He always says start now... and I was like "next sunday".. "tomorrow".. LOL. I guess I will start listening to him from next month..Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-37577599100319348052008-12-01T11:14:00.002-05:002008-12-01T11:16:59.743-05:00Article by Suketu Mehta in NY Times<div class="kicker"><nyt_kicker>Op-Ed Contributor</nyt_kicker></div> <h1> <nyt_headline version="1.0" type=" "> What They Hate About<br /></nyt_headline></h1><h1><nyt_headline version="1.0" type=" "> Mumbai </nyt_headline> </h1> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/JavaScript">function getSharePasskey() { return 'ex=1385701200&en=51f7ed4932f50f37&ei=5124';}</script> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/JavaScript"> function getShareURL() { return encodeURIComponent('http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/29/opinion/29mehta.html'); } function getShareHeadline() { return encodeURIComponent('What They Hate About Mumbai'); } function getShareDescription() { return encodeURIComponent('Mumbai, India, stands for lucre, profane dreams and an indiscriminate openness. And this way of life appalls religious extremists.'); } function getShareKeywords() { return encodeURIComponent('Terrorism,Taj Mahal,Stations and Terminals (Passenger),Mumbai (India)'); } function getShareSection() { return encodeURIComponent('opinion'); } function getShareSectionDisplay() { return encodeURIComponent('Op-Ed Contributor'); } function getShareSubSection() { return encodeURIComponent(''); } function getShareByline() { return encodeURIComponent('By SUKETU MEHTA'); } function getSharePubdate() { return encodeURIComponent('November 29, 2008'); } </script> <nyt_byline version="1.0" type=" "> <div class="byline">By <a href="http://query.nytimes.com/search/query?ppds=byll&v1=suketu%20mehta&fdq=19960101&td=sysdate&sort=newest&ac=suketu%20mehta&inline=nyt-per" title="More Articles by Suketu Mehta">SUKETU MEHTA</a></div> </nyt_byline> <div class="timestamp">Published: November 28, 2008 </div> <p>MY bleeding city. My poor great bleeding heart of a city. Why do they go after Mumbai? There’s something about this island-state that appalls religious extremists, Hindus and Muslims alike. Perhaps because Mumbai stands for lucre, profane dreams and an indiscriminate openness.</p> <a name="secondParagraph"></a> <p>Mumbai is all about dhandha, or transaction. From the street food vendor squatting on a sidewalk, fiercely guarding his little business, to the tycoons and their dreams of acquiring Hollywood, this city understands money and has no guilt about the getting and spending of it. I once asked a Muslim man living in a shack without indoor plumbing what kept him in the city. “Mumbai is a golden songbird,” he said. It flies quick and sly, and you’ll have to work hard to catch it, but if you do, a fabulous fortune will open up for you. The executives who congregated in the Taj Mahal hotel were chasing this golden songbird. The terrorists want to kill the songbird.</p><p>Just as cinema is a mass dream of the audience, Mumbai is a mass dream of the peoples of South Asia. Bollywood movies are the most popular form of entertainment across the subcontinent. Through them, every Pakistani and Bangladeshi is familiar with the wedding-cake architecture of the Taj and the arc of the Gateway of India, symbols of the city that gives the industry its name. It is no wonder that one of the first things the Taliban did upon entering Kabul was to shut down the Bollywood video rental stores. The Taliban also banned, wouldn’t you know it, the keeping of songbirds.</p><p>Bollywood dream-makers are shaken. “I am ashamed to say this,” Amitabh Bachchan, superstar of a hundred action movies, wrote on his blog. “As the events of the terror attack unfolded in front of me, I did something for the first time and one that I had hoped never ever to be in a situation to do. Before retiring for the night, I pulled out my licensed .32 revolver, loaded it and put it under my pillow.” </p><p>Mumbai is a “soft target,” the terrorism analysts say. Anybody can walk into the hotels, the hospitals, the train stations, and start spraying with a machine gun. Where are the metal detectors, the random bag checks? In Mumbai, it’s impossible to control the crowd. In other cities, if there’s an explosion, people run away from it. In Mumbai, people run toward it — to help. Greater Mumbai takes in a million new residents a year. This is the problem, say the nativists. The city is just too hospitable. You let them in, and they break your heart.</p><p>In the Bombay I grew up in, your religion was a personal eccentricity, like a hairstyle. In my school, you were denominated by which cricketer or Bollywood star you worshiped, not which prophet. In today’s Mumbai, things have changed. Hindu and Muslim demagogues want the mobs to come out again in the streets, and slaughter one another in the name of God. They want India and Pakistan to go to war. They want Indian Muslims to be expelled. They want India to get out of Kashmir. They want mosques torn down. They want temples bombed.</p><p>And now it looks as if the latest terrorists were our neighbors, young men dressed not in Afghan tunics but in blue jeans and designer T-shirts. Being South Asian, they would have grown up watching the painted lady that is Mumbai in the movies: a city of flashy cars and flashier women. A pleasure-loving city, a sensual city. Everything that preachers of every religion thunder against. It is, as a monk of the pacifist Jain religion explained to me, “paap-ni-bhoomi”: the sinful land.</p><p> In 1993, Hindu mobs burned people alive in the streets — for the crime of being Muslim in Mumbai. Now these young Muslim men murdered people in front of their families — for the crime of visiting Mumbai. They attacked the luxury businessmen’s hotels. They attacked the open-air Cafe Leopold, where backpackers of the world refresh themselves with cheap beer out of three-foot-high towers before heading out into India. Their drunken revelry, their shameless flirting, must have offended the righteous believers in the jihad. They attacked the train station everyone calls V.T., the terminus for runaways and dreamers from all across India. And in the attack on the Chabad house, for the first time ever, it became dangerous to be Jewish in India.</p><p>The terrorists’ message was clear: Stay away from Mumbai or you will get killed. Cricket matches with visiting English and Australian teams have been shelved. Japanese and Western companies have closed their Mumbai offices and prohibited their employees from visiting the city. Tour groups are canceling long-planned trips.</p><p>But the best answer to the terrorists is to dream bigger, make even more money, and visit Mumbai more than ever. Dream of making a good home for all Mumbaikars, not just the denizens of $500-a-night hotel rooms. Dream not just of Bollywood stars like Aishwarya Rai or Shah Rukh Khan, but of clean running water, humane mass transit, better toilets, a responsive government. Make a killing not in God’s name but in the stock market, and then turn up the forbidden music and dance; work hard and party harder. </p><p>If the rest of the world wants to help, it should run toward the explosion. It should fly to Mumbai, and spend money. Where else are you going to be safe? New York? London? Madrid?</p><p>So I’m booking flights to Mumbai. I’m going to go get a beer at the Leopold, stroll over to the Taj for samosas at the Sea Lounge, and watch a Bollywood movie at the Metro. Stimulus doesn’t have to be just economic. </p><nyt_author_id><div id="authorId"><p>Suketu Mehta, a professor of journalism at New York University, is the author of “Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found.”</p></div></nyt_author_id>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-37091151523264995892008-11-05T12:06:00.005-05:002008-11-05T12:41:23.182-05:00Audacity of HopeWOW!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/shweta/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-10.jpg" alt="" /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/shweta/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-11.jpg" alt="" />What a night it was. History was made for the right reasons. I felt proud being associated to this election through my television, through the free flowing discussions in my college corridors, through the hush-hush conversations at my desk at office.<br /><br />As a commentator on CNN rightly reported "It is the triumph of FEAR over Hope"<br /><br />When I was new to this country I was often surprised to see the number of fear tactics used by people in power to influence the public. I in no way undermine peoples' grief and shock over devastating events 7 years ago, but living in fear and spreading fear is not the right path to take to overcome it. To have color codes for terror and attune peoples' mind by fine tuning color codes is no way to lead the country.<br /><br />For me the most important thing that I took away from this election, was not which ideology prevailed, BUT THAT IT WAS AN ELECTION OF THE PEOPLE.<br /><br />So many people voted, and they did not think "does my vote count, what is one vote going to do". They did not put a discount on their votes. Each person felt that they made a valuable contribution and YES their vote was valued.To see so many young people motivated and participating in the elections has been something we can all learn from.<br /><br />WHERE HAS THE VOTER APATHY GONE??<br /><br />This brings me to the point that we often express among discontent amongst our peers from India over the state of politics in India. We so proudly claim that politics is dirty and gone beyond the point of no return.<br /><br />PROBABLY NOT!!!<br /><br />I have never voted in my country and infact been very dismissive of the electoral process in my country. However if I have never really partcipated in the elections , what right do I have to criticize it. I am as good as a cynical relative (Ya, we know we atleast have one of those) who just criticize because they have to.<br /><br />Congratulations AmericaShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-11381011928342442792008-10-07T21:47:00.004-04:002008-10-07T22:10:37.804-04:00Happy Watching---The jane austen book club<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjScoL7mpZuGXWsDJDvVRbuv9h_WzwirLxLb1fBemjSKiAPIy7qCwZSNEkqNJrdHU7a92WpE_A_1-str1fURNwmr8hxqw51BD2Dt0HgiPXY50Bf8adnMz_gawUxU3eWYVR7sra6JkInSXkF/s1600-h/images.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 295px; height: 221px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjScoL7mpZuGXWsDJDvVRbuv9h_WzwirLxLb1fBemjSKiAPIy7qCwZSNEkqNJrdHU7a92WpE_A_1-str1fURNwmr8hxqw51BD2Dt0HgiPXY50Bf8adnMz_gawUxU3eWYVR7sra6JkInSXkF/s400/images.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254599636887474994" border="0" /></a><br />Very early when I started to blog, I wrote about an incident when my husband was away for an office trip (his first one) and how miserable I was the whole time alone at home, feeling as though my wings had been clipped.<br /><br />Well after that trip, my husband took many more and slowly my wings kept growing. I can't say that I am flying but definitely I am trying ............<br /><br />Hmmmm this blog is slowing turning out to be about my wings.. It is not intended to be so..<br /><br />Today I watched movie (Ya my husband is away for 4 days).. "The Jane Austen Book Club".. Ohh this movie is for you, my girl friends. A recommendation from my side to all of you. Light, yet meaningful and insightful. I am a sucker for romance and there were different shades of romance in the movie.<br /><br />Temptation, boredom, jealousy, lust, love and betrayal... all covered.<br /><br />I must admit that I haven't read any of Jane Austen's Books but I am tempted to do so. For us Indians one of the first images that must be coming to our mind is the hideous "Bride and Prejuidice" with our very own Aishwarya Rai.. Lets keep that image away cause surely that movie will turn us off from reading any of the booksShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-65105076194427590542008-07-09T13:28:00.004-04:002008-12-08T17:04:36.837-05:00Updates....Wow Its almost been 2 months since I wrote on this page of thoughtless ideas. A few of my friends reminded me that I haven't put anything new... that means some of you are reading my nonsense..<br /><br />I have thought of jotting down some lines many times... but I guess these thoughts were not strong enough..<br /><br />These 2 months of summer have been bliss (with many interrupted by strong thunder storms). I have not seen such lightening before. And there was an earthquake too. I was alone in the house and I got up too. As my PANIC threshold in very low... I panicked and the rest is history.<br /><br />What else.. I visited Detriot in May. It was nice, may be only for spending 2 days max. We went to the Casino and as played good amount of Blackjack. We won lots and finally left when we lost it all.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Wz4Cgd2qpqm1-QX4P6qEndbKi7Uh7dU69Gia4I3B2oyLY_EXDls3hEcQ-DUkp_-x0PFfKEa_CI7ANtRFS_NLPifA_av9u-Fsu3fhLHu6DHejlSkK7WB5cUcbyzNeZfQqpawIHlAOivRa/s1600-h/Hooray-for-Bollywood.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 138px; height: 195px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Wz4Cgd2qpqm1-QX4P6qEndbKi7Uh7dU69Gia4I3B2oyLY_EXDls3hEcQ-DUkp_-x0PFfKEa_CI7ANtRFS_NLPifA_av9u-Fsu3fhLHu6DHejlSkK7WB5cUcbyzNeZfQqpawIHlAOivRa/s400/Hooray-for-Bollywood.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221077558521496114" border="0" /></a><br /><br />In June I also attended a ballet done by the Gregory Hancock Dance theater group in which they performed on songs of Devdaas, Lagaan. It was a delight. The performers were all white but they infused bollywood as much as they could in their ballet. However what impressed me most was their performance on a couple of Telagu songs. God I could not understand a word, but the beats were awesome. I have heard that Telagu junta is very possesive of their movies, actors and music. And why not Guys... the music was amazing. The steps were full of jhutka mutka.. full of life.<br /><br />This past two months my brother and me were also busy over the phone regarding my sister's admissions. She just graduated high school. College admissions is India is whole another story. So much disorganization, lack of information, disappointments, too much reservation, too high cut offs, and above trying to decipher <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mumbai University</span> on the web.<br /><br />Man, Mumbai... you need to centralize admissions, and please use the web more often. Finally my sis has joined a National Law School in Raipur. 5 years.. too much studying. I don't even know if she knew she wanted to be a Lawyer.... There is so much to think about the educational system in India and how one is forced to make career choices , not being totally informed.. and to top it all many decisions are irreversible.<br /><br />This past weekend we went camping with another couple. It was great great fun... I also realized it is a very inexpensive way to have to getaway.. especially when you have kids..<br /><br />I am a big Bollywood fan, but always prided myself in not spending a dime on it.. I mean I wouldn't buy posters.... etc etc.. But this coming August I am going for the Amitabh Bachchan Concert in Chicago. Lately I have become a big fan of big B. I loved him in Sarkar Raj. So I thought why not go for this one.. I hope that it will be a lot of fun.<br /><br />So much for updates.. and I have also posted 3 blogs.... too much writing today.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-62678174255710234872008-07-09T13:09:00.006-04:002008-12-08T17:04:37.139-05:00Jaane Tu................<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXqI5vMZ-yXFPxNosVCb0FeiP29Rd49aPAJ67c4JaiaGDck3T7v6ptEJPQQHJ_8mlEZ5yglgJKSdIQP0hMlEaMQFzC0LfvD5CVuxmjy74isq1yAw9kN0YZAh4hpSxdt-uOqE_LNygQODro/s1600-h/jaanetu.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 337px; height: 259px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXqI5vMZ-yXFPxNosVCb0FeiP29Rd49aPAJ67c4JaiaGDck3T7v6ptEJPQQHJ_8mlEZ5yglgJKSdIQP0hMlEaMQFzC0LfvD5CVuxmjy74isq1yAw9kN0YZAh4hpSxdt-uOqE_LNygQODro/s400/jaanetu.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221065256687380818" border="0" /></a><br />Jaane Tu is a very pleasant watch... Please watch it guys.<br /><br />I am not sure why it didn't hit the theaters in my city.... Love Story 2050 (no comments... you know what that means) is in the theaters now.<br /><br />I loved Jaane tu.. every one must have read the reviews so no use for detail. But its light, fresh and predictable...<br /><br />Romance is always a great watch especially when movies don't force other angles (action, drama, death, separation, family issues, rich poor... blah blah) in the movie.<br /><br />The movie focuses only on the relationship and that it its USP.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-18889886629268801472008-07-09T12:38:00.004-04:002008-12-08T17:04:37.270-05:00Can I be a sports Psychologist?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifN_YJK5xFJURPBDnd9nHxEUlmousK57NtkZp5SwevAgxQj_2dPhpaBn4ntqKRhUPg4weDudgf7PpKzMZRnvGzLb33epPs2NcwOKKvXB8r2dzc_2XR3LrntcHcBRndSD2RZKTtD7svYLZz/s1600-h/stbake307get.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifN_YJK5xFJURPBDnd9nHxEUlmousK57NtkZp5SwevAgxQj_2dPhpaBn4ntqKRhUPg4weDudgf7PpKzMZRnvGzLb33epPs2NcwOKKvXB8r2dzc_2XR3LrntcHcBRndSD2RZKTtD7svYLZz/s400/stbake307get.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221066188141411410" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Well this is precisely the question my husband<span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span> asked me " Shweta, Do you think that you can be sports psychologist?".<br /><br />This question was popped to me while we both were engrossed watching the "Federer-Nadal Wimbledon Finals". Now you may wonder how this question came about.<br /><br />Well when everyone was watching Federer struggle to match Nadal's mighty strokes, <span style="font-weight: bold;">I wasn't.</span> Truly. I was huddled in my bedroom crossing my fingers. I was pacing up and down from the living room to the bedroom and from bedroom to living room. And Poor Virendra, his job was to shout the score every time the point was played (Yaaa he is nice!!!!). I was praying, but God could not answer my prayers because Nadal deserved to win.<br /><br />Anyways coming back to the question, I told Virendra that "NO" I cannot ever become a sports psychologist. I will be much more emotional than the player and may be the player will land up giving me counseling instead. I am still feeling bad for Federer. And to top it all everyone is saying that Federer is gone... GONE... dude (my brother) he is # 2.<br /><br />Is no 2 not good enough. Well technically he still number one..<br /><br />Well this blog is really not about Federer, but my inability to control my emotions about sports. And to top it all, I am going to watching the Cincinnati Tennis Finals. Sitting in the stadium I won't have anyplace to run if my player is losing. I can totally imagine myself. My head buried down somewhere... haha ha what a sight.<br /><br />When colts lost.... they damaged me.. LOL.<br /><br />Coming to football, I am eagerly waiting for the NFL.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-30756281443097605142008-06-20T14:43:00.007-04:002008-12-08T17:04:37.408-05:00I am a loser!!!!!!!!!<a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL1fb5nvCp73BhfOrXOMfRWey_BsSyYUtnnvdd_uIZDXUv7NZyrBRyuK5tMGzW_jg4xCLVyotrjN8-njyOBWR2mX_E9MbTfUfY9G7d_I_aMn0DF_duS05fshNfLab8tjl6y8yxvmfLz1_A/s1600-h/Super-Mario-Galaxy-4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 347px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL1fb5nvCp73BhfOrXOMfRWey_BsSyYUtnnvdd_uIZDXUv7NZyrBRyuK5tMGzW_jg4xCLVyotrjN8-njyOBWR2mX_E9MbTfUfY9G7d_I_aMn0DF_duS05fshNfLab8tjl6y8yxvmfLz1_A/s400/Super-Mario-Galaxy-4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221066400993931266" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I have never been a fan of video games... I think we had a Atari growing up, but I was never attracted to it. In fact I always found it a waste of time. However my husband does not share my views.. (isnt that obvious, when do couples agree not to agree on something).<br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Veeru, devoted (wasted) a lot of time playing video games in school, but somehow after marriage, my constant hammering had made a dent in the amount given to it. On his last birthday he bought a playstation and on my birthday he bought me a Wii (isn't it a wonderful idea to gift your spouse something u want). I guess as relationships grow older people start to become more of themselves... Which means that Veeru is playing more and more video games nowadays. And I think I am okay about it....<br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">But what has happened is that I myself am spending some time with the Wii.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Well whatever the story is, and how much I hate to admit, Wii is amazing. Its so easy and user friendly and easy and it makes a non-gamer feel very powerful when they able to do good on the Wii.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So I played tennis (I love tennis). I did well. I played other stuff but for a long time I avoided to look at the Mario Galaxy or Mario Racing stuff (I categorized them as traditional video games.... and I was not going there).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Somehow, as Veeru kept praising Mario Galaxy so much that I thought I will try my luck. And to my horror, I enjoyed it. Seriously the graphics are good (All you PS3 people I know you have better graphics), and it is a lot of fun.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Now coming to the statement " </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >I am a loser". </span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Well I am, after moving up to a certain level, I am not able to complete the level where there are </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Mandibugs. </span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Damn it, I am not able to kill them. I have tried, tried again and tried again, and given up. Seriously those damn bugs made me feel like a loser.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I could never believe that video games could do this to my self-esteem. I haven't touched my Wii since 3 weeks. Veeru says " Patience" is important. So I am trying to build patience then I can attack those mandibugs.. It makes me feel like a bigger loser, when I see Veeru do it so easily in front of my naked eyes... Haha ha ..</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Well this blog was cathartic.. I feel better.</span>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-32154483256020875342008-05-06T12:02:00.005-04:002008-12-08T17:04:37.594-05:00AMU---- Give it a watch<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcwQ0B0ZNbTq3Up-ZeUThoqOgqlsg6YPBctYeQz2sGrdUwKebN3MT02lLnMOEUwORrisl7pyZ3GXrlzggSq7dxFAu1h8d5T_xdizClgjlxH15bypfv8i8RIyGyZNe3D_qtylYaeRrr3Fw_/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcwQ0B0ZNbTq3Up-ZeUThoqOgqlsg6YPBctYeQz2sGrdUwKebN3MT02lLnMOEUwORrisl7pyZ3GXrlzggSq7dxFAu1h8d5T_xdizClgjlxH15bypfv8i8RIyGyZNe3D_qtylYaeRrr3Fw_/s400/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5197300852896578082" border="0" /></a><br />I recently watched the movie "Amu". And I loved it. This movie captured many of my experiences across different phases of my life. Before getting into that, let me just say that this movie is worth a watch. Konkana as usual, brilliant. The guy cast opposite her (Ankur khanna, ya I think thats his name) is cute too. The best part of the movie is that it is shot in actual locations and nowhere do you feel that the characters are placed in sets, they just belonged I felt. The movie dragged at places but a DVD watch never hurts.<br /><br />For all gals who have studied in DU, you will be effortlessly transported into the Delhi where we lived some precious years of our lives. Yes, Meenakshi (I know you read my blog) there is Miranda House, there is mention of Chacha's bhatura, Blue line buses, there is Dilli haat and on the whole the flavor of Delhi. I never thought that I will say I miss Delhi.<br /><br />The movie also captured many issues relevant to social work. They actually shot in Delhi slums, and I could actually visualize myself doing field work in the jhuggis. Man, I would be totally lost during my field work projects. They even showed street plays.<br /><br />I really felt comforted seeing Delhi, as the way I lived it. May be its because I am mostly surrounded by people from Mumbai at present, that I have no body to discuss my experiences with.<br /><br />This movie even took me back to my school years. I saw Tara's name in the credits (Tara Roy). I felt proud knowing her as a friend years back.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-53145720196888592062008-04-01T13:47:00.000-04:002008-12-08T17:04:37.731-05:00This winter did not get to me this time<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0U6NFn9QEk3OPYxPUeQgHxkftSCpKhyphenhyphennlD4d_BzcMWLpJ36bVv4xh58AEQEsGMiEkJYfTzP-zpEB6cRT-bs1CAr3mXqBiHC3Wf-H8Mx8URVcYKh1lUA-vpLHrDkSZWSZDoDOiH3MlUb_/s1600-h/Winter-Roses300x451.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0U6NFn9QEk3OPYxPUeQgHxkftSCpKhyphenhyphennlD4d_BzcMWLpJ36bVv4xh58AEQEsGMiEkJYfTzP-zpEB6cRT-bs1CAr3mXqBiHC3Wf-H8Mx8URVcYKh1lUA-vpLHrDkSZWSZDoDOiH3MlUb_/s400/Winter-Roses300x451.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184309869864367058" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Come November, and I get the november blues. I think of the next 6 months that will be spent whining about the cold, we being confined to the house, and basic restrictions on many "things to do". The gloomy weather got to me last year, and I think that I was suffering from seasonal depression. No sun, no fun.<br /><br />However this season was very different. It is the end of march and the winter is no where out-of-sight. We friends often discuss how long the winter has been, and how cold it is. And I dont know why my view would stick out as a sore thumb from the groups. I would say, it hasn't been that cold, its okay......<br /><br />At home I asked my husband then, that has the winter been that bad this year? He said "No".<br /><br />I was wondering why the winter did not get to me this time. Actually this winter My husband and me decided that no matter how cold it is, we will not stay indoors. we will go out in the evenings like the way we did. And thats precisely what we did. And somehow now that spring is knocking at our doors I realized that the long treacherous winter is gone.<br /><br />Unfortunately for us, when we went to Chicago over Good Friday weekend, it snowed like crazy. We still decided to move around, and did not let the snow get the better of us. Well probably thats one thing I admire about Chicago (or may all big cities). People don't stop doing their things because its too hot or cold.<br /><br />I think that it was my personal battle against the winter, and I won it this time. Last year I lost miserably.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-37021385852767329702008-04-01T11:49:00.002-04:002008-04-01T11:52:16.463-04:00My trip to ChicagoThis is about my trip to Chicago during the easter break. My brother's friends had decided to meet up at a club and he said that we come along as well. My husband and me are acquainted with a few of his friends but not that well, so we were apprehensive about going. But I had a great time there. There were about 7 girls and all of us danced together, no boys. Wow... it reminded me of college times. It was a lot of fun. So I think that next time we go out here in Indy, we girls can have fun on our own. And that makes me thinking that when will have our girls' nite sleepover again. The last one was so much fun. So my friends if you are reading this lets plan on one soon. Girlfriends are indispensable.<br /><br /><br />Chicago reminds me of another funny incident. We all had gone to the signature lounge in the Hancock tower for a drink. I had heard that the view from up (95th floor) there is great, and why pay to watch chicago from SEAR's Tower when you can have a drink at the signature lounge. Well even though I had been up the SEAR's tower, another view of Chicago from up-above never hurts. Since it was a saturday, there was along line for people going to the lounge. When we reached, all seating near the windows (a window table is a great place to sip a cocktail) were gone, and we didn't want to wait for any other opening. So we sat at a table in the middle of the room. People were getting up, going to the glass walls, peeping down on Chicago, and coming back to their chairs.<br /><br />There was this couple seated on a table next to the wall. The guy had ordered a Champagne and I think that he was there to propose to his girl. The girl was dressed for the occasion. It was amazing how people create their own space while being in a crowd. The guy was holding the girl's hand etc etc.... However there was an Asian family, not Indians, who were standing (literally towering) over their table to get their photograph being clicked against the backdrop of Chicago skyline.<br /><br />They seemed interesting a little unusual so we were looking at them. We were feeling a little bad that they were disturbing the couple on their big day. And they were posing for the photographs, posing again and posing again and I think that they never stopped clicking photographs. They were blissfully unaware that they were barging into someone's private space and ruining their evening. Now come'on, from how many angles can you capture the view of the SEAR's tower. At one point, you will saturate. But I don't think that they had that feeling. It was as though they were hell-bent on getting their money's worth.The guy gave the ring to his girl with two people standing over his head. The girl accepted the ring with two people (plus a baby) looming over her head. I am not exaggerating, the asian family stood in the same spot, and clicked photos against the same backdrop for around 25 minutes. Made we wonder how much does the 'third world people' still hold on to our "Survival of the fittest" motto and always on the move to getting maximum output.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-76656141759099802052008-04-01T10:44:00.007-04:002008-04-01T12:06:05.956-04:00Different ideas that I wanted to blog aboutIt's been so so long since I wrote something on my blog. Its not that I didn't have ideas but I didn't think they had enough substance....<br /><br />Like I wanted to write about Jodha Akbar- there were such mixed feelings. Such a long movie, but I couldn't blame the actors. I think that the director was to blame for he thought that every thing he directed was so precious that it could not be edited. I think that some scenes could have been taken off. Also there wasn't any coherent theme in the movie. It was a good buffet... but don't we always get tired of buffets. It wasn't clear if he wanted to demonstrate Akbar's greatness, Jodha's strength of character, the love between Jodha-Akbar, the political instability at those times, etc etc.... Anyways Jodha Akbar is long gone and most people I have known have liked it...<br /><br /><br />Then my friend had said that she was waiting for me to write about JUNO. After I watched the movie, I didn't have enough motivation to write. I had heard so much about the movie that frankly I didn't feel ga ga over the movie. Its a good DVD watch. Also it is directed by the same guy who directed 'Thank you for smoking'. I liked his earlier movie and Juno is good as well. The manner is which teenage pregnancy was handled was very positive. No blaming the victim, a supportive family environment, available resources etc etc.<br /><br />I also wanted to write about the winter. I think that I will pull myself and write about that.<br /><br />What else-- ya I also wanted to write about the anxiety that I faced when my sister was giving her boards. Wow.... there is just so much pressure. She is done with that and there is even greater anxiety about where next? The expectations on children put them through a lot of stress and I think that guardians sometimes blur the fine line between being supportive and encouraging to being over-encouraging (for lack of a better word). My sister's very good friend's cousin brother committed suicide in Pune a few days back. She has been so troubled after hearing it. She repeatedly said that how can someone have the courage of hanging oneself by the fan. After hearing this I suddenly wondered if I ever crossed the line between being supportive and over-zealous sister wanting her sister to excel.<br /><br />I also wanted to write about my friend's daughter sanskriti..... Every time I see her she makes me so happy. Trust me that child is divine, there is just so much peace surrounding her (touchwood). She gives the word Tranquility a face. We all have so much fun playing with her, and not once does she makes us realize that she does not like our company. She smiles in between letting us know that she is reciprocating our feelings....<br /><br />And yes, I wanted to write about a few incidents of my trip to Chicago .. so will do that on a new blog.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-66563583472200549792008-03-31T11:02:00.002-04:002008-03-31T11:06:52.196-04:00The original Korean song--- lifted in entirity in the movie Race<object height="355" width="425">I really like Atif Aslam and I really liked the song from Race which he has sung. However this weekend my friend pointed out that the entire song has been directly lifted from a korean song..... I am so proud of Bollywood.<param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BBmu9i3vQlA&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BBmu9i3vQlA&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-78773340149978591662008-02-26T18:29:00.002-05:002008-12-08T17:04:37.937-05:00When will the blogging bubble burst?<o:p></o:p><br /><p class="MsoNormal">The idea of this article came to my mind so long back that I don’t even know if I will remember the facts clearly…. Well on our last trip to Borders I picked the GQ magazine to give me company while I slowly chipped at toffee and macadamia nut cookie (trust me, it was heavenly). I was pleasantly surprised that the GQ magazine held my interest much longer than I anticipated.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Anyways getting away from the distractions, let me come to the point. I began to read an article on blogging. I don’t remember the title too well, but it spoke about blogging in a negative light. Being a budding blogger, I immediately took to the article.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The article said that the blogging bubble would soon burst. When <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Justin Hall</span> (yes the first blogger) started his internet diaries (as Wikipedia refers it as) in <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">1994</span>, this movement has since seen rapid and exponential growth. Justin H<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs-TtANdmts-n5pE2Is6yaYkAOI-YpQy2rhvYh1dB-Xfg4ud2V0Mq6a_yjBMwzej3UjVLZ_MmI3L9s0uAe1V2djSd6N5FdIfyrqgA8EXGCzjJ8WuuvOP3QpP2azvRYgQ8D1q8N1OxeU4hy/s1600-h/180px-JustinHallTux.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs-TtANdmts-n5pE2Is6yaYkAOI-YpQy2rhvYh1dB-Xfg4ud2V0Mq6a_yjBMwzej3UjVLZ_MmI3L9s0uAe1V2djSd6N5FdIfyrqgA8EXGCzjJ8WuuvOP3QpP2azvRYgQ8D1q8N1OxeU4hy/s400/180px-JustinHallTux.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171435527748116850" border="0" /></a>all soon started writing intimate details on his blogs, I am not sure if he is still actively blogging. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Blogging gave the common person a voice and it lead to the democratization of the internet. GQ article quoted that there are approximately 106 million bloggers currently and more than 200 million bloggers have called it quits. Even as these numbers sound formidable, the article said that the blogging bubble would soon burst. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yes, it said that blogging gives the common man an unfair advantage as it makes it equivalent to science. “Who is interested in personal histories of bloggers, their intimate details, what they had for breakfast etc etc”. “How long can people sustain their interest in blogging”. “Its more like a hobby from which one will move on”. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">As I read these statements, I find that there is truth in them. How long can personal histories engage us? However I don’t think that all blogging boasts of just personal histories. I enjoy reading what some interesting people have to offer. And if I don’t like it then I can just close the webpage. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I surely understand the threat that blogs do eat our time that we may have given to “scientific stories” “news” or “useful things”. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Whatever the outcome,,,,,<span style=""> </span>I think that Blogging is self-sustained community that has a lot to offer. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-53137235920558189482008-02-14T01:19:00.004-05:002008-02-14T01:21:44.621-05:00vellagiri.blogspot.comI have realized that may be I have too much time, or I am utilizing too much of my time on blogging, hence my new blog name is vellagiri.blogspot.com. LOL.<br /><br />I think that this reflects my state of mind better than my name. what say??Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-72546547055920093932008-02-12T15:34:00.000-05:002008-12-08T17:04:38.223-05:00Beliefs, religion - is it the same ... or may be not ?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBV081yN2w_SjRj60KGqlHpL3YqsEG8zNPQYzeplTh3IVKpOEklGn5jjVOwYqsgEcUXzn71Xn-U21pbneByhyphenhypheny1xAufzRPfAzSETnjsz1mrC4KRCJDGTKcmkLvqGnpj4lBySOSNQ1anqzM/s1600-h/450px-Religious_syms.svg.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 189px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBV081yN2w_SjRj60KGqlHpL3YqsEG8zNPQYzeplTh3IVKpOEklGn5jjVOwYqsgEcUXzn71Xn-U21pbneByhyphenhypheny1xAufzRPfAzSETnjsz1mrC4KRCJDGTKcmkLvqGnpj4lBySOSNQ1anqzM/s400/450px-Religious_syms.svg.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5166197050626466146" border="0" /></a><br />I have recently started to watch the detective series 'Without a trace' on TNT. I think it used to come on CBS or whatever but I am catching the old series on TNT. Well this blog is definitely not about the show (as much as I would love to write on it), but a line on last night's show that made me think.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">" We all need something to believe in".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">We all can have different reasons, power, justice, vengence etc etc but we need something to believe in.</span><br /><br />Religion is often a topic that is part of my household discussion. There is just so much confusion there.<br /><br />Am I religious ?- It is a question I often ask myself.<br /><br />This question can only answered if I correctly operationalize the word "religion" as it appears to me.<br /><br />What constitutes a religion. Why not Google the word religion.<br /><br />So here is what I get.<br /><br />"<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader</span>" - Answer.com.<br /><br />"<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">A religion is a set of beliefs and practices generally organized around supernatural and moral claims, and often codified as prayer, ritual, and religious law. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and mystic experience. The term "religion" refers to both the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction</span>"- wikipedia.<br /><br />Now if this is what religion constitutes then I clearly do not follow my religion. Ya I know what sort of food is associated with the different festivities that are associated with my religion. I even bow my head in front of gods and goddesess. But I definiely feel that I donot do enough to be called a believer in a certain religion. I follow no ritual, religious law, or practices.<br /><br />I really struggle with this, but in all my struggles I am definitely sure that I believe in some power.This power may be supernatural, or may be within me. I am somehow (and I don't know why) not comfortable calling myself an agnostic and or an athiest. I donot have that passion to get into a mode of conflict rather that find a path that is comforting to me.<br /><br />So can I say that my <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">belief</span> is a function of my expectations and the perceived capabilities of that power.<br /><br />As I think more about the line spoken in the television serial, I think that the purpose that drives my belief is "justice". I somehow believe in the principle of supreme justice, and that what goes around shall come around. I am not sure that this principle works, but I think that it certainly does for me. It helps me stay away from a lot of anxiety.<br /><br />Hence forth I believe that even though many people follow the same religion, everybody has a separate, individual, and a personal relationship with that religion and at the same time they have a shared understanding of that religion with others (and this level of shared understanding is controlled by the person)<br /><br /><br />I have also come across many people who do not question as to why are they religious, why they believe in a particular ritual, etc etc.<br /><br />Some can say <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">conditioning</span> " I have seen my mother/ father do it so I do it". For some it is <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">FEAR</span>. " If I dont do it then something may happen". For many it is <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">positive reinforcement</span> " A good thing happened when I did that so I will perform that ritual again".<br /><br />There may be many reasons, and it is not my job or purpose to critique them. However, the existence of religion in our lives intrigues me. <span style="font-weight: bold;">And to sum it up.... do we all need something to believe in???</span>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-79283441828603214242008-02-09T15:04:00.000-05:002008-02-09T15:10:46.046-05:00Patriots and charityYa the Patriots are doing charity work after losing the super bowl. I heard a piece of news that the Patriots had printed millions worth of sweatshirts and other sports accessories that reflected that the Patriots were superbowl champions, 19-0 team, the perfect team etc etc.<br /><br />Now that they could not do anything with that post superbowl, they have shipped the entire stuff to Africa. Imagine the African children wearing 19-0 jerseys, Ha ha ha. ....Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-89096415378572391302008-02-04T17:19:00.000-05:002008-12-08T17:04:38.476-05:00Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander--- the stars aligned for the Giants.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK5LuMmlxNy6kaVLb7QlQnYxBiD3LPhfLb4MnRb5tG0qL0R832DmUttZB9kEdM8IBT_KgQ7fgTBfYMp5-7A7_Yfd6B9k5yWgZgKm2ei3J1QqhrR3cCZG3psTGQ24svJDQOOFKUrHcYR06M/s1600-h/EliManning7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 375px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK5LuMmlxNy6kaVLb7QlQnYxBiD3LPhfLb4MnRb5tG0qL0R832DmUttZB9kEdM8IBT_KgQ7fgTBfYMp5-7A7_Yfd6B9k5yWgZgKm2ei3J1QqhrR3cCZG3psTGQ24svJDQOOFKUrHcYR06M/s400/EliManning7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5163253776534088562" border="0" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp5vqg6qpUjKkZp6vhDGow5erGyC0WJiHuW3ko0vV064Lo4CKgIQo7zJcDB0HQPGVUknwgc3Pgx-A6AotLKdfbroBlM2nx5a5gdnlj9n8q3j9V2qrPqMcfThKU-8sHF0TguuzQH7Tk02Uo/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp5vqg6qpUjKkZp6vhDGow5erGyC0WJiHuW3ko0vV064Lo4CKgIQo7zJcDB0HQPGVUknwgc3Pgx-A6AotLKdfbroBlM2nx5a5gdnlj9n8q3j9V2qrPqMcfThKU-8sHF0TguuzQH7Tk02Uo/s400/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5163253909678074754" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When the Patriots took to the podium after a shocking loss to the Giants, they echoed the truth. As Rodney Harrison said, “Nobody can take the credit away from the Giants today, they were the better team on the field and they deserve the victory. However it is the truth that the Patriots have had an unbelievable season and their 18-1 season will go down in history well remembered.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As we can carry on to debate, whether the Giants’ conquest was a <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">“major upset” or a “great win”,</span> I am just too thrilled that Giants did it. I somehow hoped for it and I am so so happy that it happened. It wasn’t a fluke either, the Giants were gathering momentum all along and the finale saw it delivered. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Eli Manning was backed defensively and he delivered offensively.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I was just so thrilled to see Peyton Manning jubilant. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Patriots are famous for pulling through a close win coming from behind when the last few minutes are ticking away, but today was not their day. The stars aligned for the Giants…</p>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-69976280122847747562008-01-25T14:50:00.001-05:002008-02-28T19:14:31.211-05:00Feminism----- A perspective on men<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Feminism.............. Wohhhhhh this word ticks off "many" people and I assume that the majority of those "many" would be men. Yes, this is true, but surprisingly in recent times there are lesser younger women who associate themselves with this term.<br /><br />I am writing this blog as an offshoot to a discussion in class. My professor made a comment that <span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">"my husband is a feminist, he will not do the car oil change for me, he does dishes, and he cooks too</span>".<br /><br />I understood what she meant, " breaking away from traditional gender roles" is as simple as she described her husband's trait.<br /><br />To me then, feminism works wonder for both men and women.<br /><br /></span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"> Why is that the word feminist arouses strong emotions and reactions. And please to all those reading, dont start cursing under your breath. And some how I do realize why many dislike the word. </span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">I know many people perceive feminism to be equivalent to men bashing.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-size:100%;" > <span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">As a lay person, <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Feminism to me means providing equal opportunities to men and women and treating men and women alike.</span> But definitely the feminist movement has been associated with more radical approaches, aggressive strategies, and somehow portraying that women are better than men.<br /><br />However the discussion in class made me realize what feminism means for men.<br /><br /></span></span><ol style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">It means that men should not be so pressured to have a high-paying career or for that matter to have a job.</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">It means that men should be given space to express themselves emotionally. We don't have to expect them to be super cool, brave etc. etc all the time.</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">They are not our provider.</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">There are many more.....</span></span></li></ol><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">I also learnt that stress among men takes its toll physically, and shorter life span is one of the many outcomes.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">When I asked my husband if he believes in this principle of gender-equality, he said he does.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">So I said " Can I assume that you are a feminist".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">He said " No"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">"Why I said, you believe in the principle and you practice it too"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">He said " the word feminism has its roots in femininity, and it appears to favor females over men, so I will not accept that I am not a feminist. "</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">And he added, "if a neutral word is coined to espouse the principles discussed above, I will be a member of that club".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">I reclined once I realized that the discussion would soon turn into argument.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">However I think I get his point. Some terminologies get so value-laden, full of judgment and prejudice, that it is difficult to go back to its roots.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /><br /><br /></span></span>Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098648898636794298.post-26560975829425187872008-01-22T23:32:00.000-05:002008-01-22T23:54:10.694-05:00Pleasing men!!! Not as easy as it seemsRecently it was my husband's birthday. Birthdays are fun, but they bring along some anxiety with them.<br /><br />The million dollar question- What present shall I get him?<br /><br />I can brainstorm this issue and still never arrive at a satisfying conclusion.<br /><br />So lets begin..<br /><br />If your husband is finicky- you can not buy clothes, shoes etc etc (if he doesn't wear it, I will feel bad)<br /><br />If he is tech savvy- then he knows what is the best thing to buy, read all the freaking reviews and even know a better place to get a decent deal.<br /><br />If you had earlier asked him to prepare a wish list (I tried that too), then all the things were so expensive (I could not spend that much money).<br /><br />If your husband prefers tangible things, then all other ideas such a surprise trip, and other fancy ideas can be thrown out as well. (Last time I bought him a package of guitar lessons, I am not sure if he thought it was the best present).<br /><br />If you are too finicky then you dont want to be repetitive and give something similar to what you may have given earlier.<br /><br />I think that gifts are over rated and exaggerated.<br /><br />Whoever has a special day can have the privilege of buying themselves what they want.<br /><br />I have finally realized that this is the best strategy.<br /><br />But some how I wanted to put in some effort- so I got a nice cake... and I am working on making a scrapbook. Inexpensive presents can be very meaningful and reflective.<br /><br />What I learned, is that somehow we are so caught up in constantly thinking about what the other person wants, rather than taking a moment to realize we want to give.Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087736956045419901noreply@blogger.com2